Muay Thai training...(in the beginning)

Ok gang, so as promised MONTHS ago, here is some footage of the Muay Thai training that I have been doing. These pixes and vids seem old compared to how things are now. I guess that's a good sign of progress, right? (crossin the fingers)

Daily Pad work in the ring

When I had life easy. Hitting the sponge (that doesn't hit back)

The easy days as well. The pole didn't hit back...well, except the rust coming off of it

A live fight that my girl and I seen at Lumpini Stadium. The fighter in red is a current 6 time champion at 122 pounds. He is from the same little city and club that I am from.

back on track...

It is now 4 months into my journey here in Thailand. Although it has been exciting with surprises and fortunate blessings around every corner, it has been quite static in a way and, by no means, the way I really wanted it. Don't take me as a complainer right now, but sh@t, working 50+ hours six days a week has made me associate the beautiful Maekong (river) sunsets with a thought of a ball & chain tied near un-interesting people. Now c’mon folks, who wouldn’t love this:

My time has passed doing the bartender thing. Although that job supported me financially in every way – from FREE yummy thai meals to an exquisite, craddling sleep on a floating raft – I am happy to leave it to get back on the reason why I came here.

I had an interesting (to say the least) talk and cry with my sister the other day. She stabbed questions at me that resonated not within only her, but that of my mom as well (and probably my whole family):

“What the f**K are you doing with your life?”

“Don’t you want a career one day?”

“How are you going to take care of yourself? Don’t you have loans to pay-off?”

“When are you going to stop having your fun and settle down?”

Some of you may also have these questions in mind (that my sister had every right to ask because of my “inability” to keep-in-touch and my lack of “motivation” behind it.) Being here in Thailand has made me realize even more how important it is to be understood in your surrounding environment. Simply, if not understood, where is the nurture for the needed fire in ones life?

A friend once told me that “if you feel you’re supposed to do something in your life, usually the outcome does not resemble the happiness you seek.” I know my role all too well of what I am supposed to be doing with my life right now:

- be settled in one place

- good stable job

- good money

- pay-off loans

- sorry, did I say good money?

- family of my own

- kids

- take care and listen to the “wisdom” of family and relatives

Somewhere in the output of this proposed, general formula equates success and happiness. I know that the people who push this formula into my life mean well and just simply preach what they believe in or what works for them. That’s cool with me...well, only if they can hear my belief as well on what I truly believe in about happiness.

I believe happiness stems from a strong, peaceful, and planted root. If not, how can one hold stable and upright in the changing times of fortune.

I am here in Thailand to nurture the root…and the many scars that have not fully healed in my past. I have chosen Thailand initially because of Muay Thai (kickboxing). When I was younger, and also lost without guidance, my Ajahn (instructor) filled me with the philosophy and the means to channel my erratic energies in a more productive way. (No folks, it wasn’t about learning how to hurt people). I have not chosen Thailand to only further the use of Muay Thai as a vehicle to become healthier, but as a reason to bring and surround myself in an Eastern Asian context. A context which I believed (and still do believe) focused on differing ways of achieving happiness (compared to the Western world).

I am not traveling to “get the fun out of my system before settling down.” I do miss home. I do miss my beloved Hawai’i; my people; and my loved ones. But,….I am not ready. I have asked myself, “when do you know when you’re ready?”

Simply – when it feels good and right in my heart.

My time here thus far has been filled with many great memories and people that have taught me a lot about life. What I find quite amusing is the fact that I have not felt so connected with people before (regarding their present journey in life) even though they are from far, distant places in the world. Literally (because of my now previous job and/or social position) I have met and shared wonderful conversations and laughs with people from around the world. All has played a role in my growth here which I am so fortunate of.

Starting in a couple of hours, I will continue my journey here by committing myself to a 10 day retreat at a Buddhist temple to practice and study the way of Buddha. From what I have been told, it is similar (but not really similar) to a meditation retreat. “Brahmin” is what I have been told I will be. (I think that’s how to spell it)

So yes people, this time I will be intentionally disappearing out of your lives…well, for 10 days that is;) I will have no connection/interaction with the outside world. I am excited, but nervous at the same time. I do not know what to expect. People have told me that “it will change your life.” I say, “we’ll see.” (As you know, I am quite the stubborn type).

I have yet to pack and get ready. There still seems to be so much more to say…as always. Before I go, I want to ask humbly to ALL of you –

“Please be patient with me in my many acts of disappearance in your lives…..please.”

For those of you that have been…thank you so very very much.

Will write soon about my intentional 10 day disappearance;)

Much love and aloha,

kevin